Posted by: annnorris | October 15, 2013

Trials…its just One Thing After Another

Today I have been schooled in the act of graciousness amidst troubles. My bible study this morning had Philipians 2:14-16 as my last verse.

“Do everything without grumbling or arguing, 15 so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.”[c] Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky 16 as you hold firmly to the word of life. And then I will be able to boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor in vain.”

I believe I desperately needed to hear this, to see this, to read this, to share this. You see, I come from a long line of grumblers. My grandmother, MamMaw, was a grumbler. My dad is most definitely a professional grumbler. I am a grumbler. And I passed it down to Jake, another grumbler in the making. Here’s the problem:  I don’t want to be a grumbler. I really want to be a positive, bubbly, happy person. God just drove it home with me this morning.

Here’s the latest update on my condition. As you can tell, its October, and I am still working on the reconstruction. I really thought it would be over by July at the latest. I had a few healing issues. It took several weeks for my first set of tissue expanders to thoroughly heal so I could start getting “filled up”. After the healing, I went about once a week to Dr. Love to have the tissue expanders filled with saline I believe.

On about week 6, Dr. Love tells me to start thinking about surgery to get the implants. I looked down at my “filled” chest, and told him that I needed a little more volume, to which he replied, “You really aren’t going to get any more protrusion out of these.” Major disappointment, and I was sad thinking that was the best reconstruction I could expect.

The next week, Sara (Dr. Love’s nurse, who is a beautiful spirit) talked to me about putting in larger tissue expanders. The next week I had surgery to do just that. It was a fairly easy surgery, a few hours and I was home. I had a dull, but strong ache under my right arm, but the pain meds seemed to take it away. When I stopped the pain meds, the pain was back and with a vengence. Mark took me to the emergency room. Dr. Love came in, removed some of the fluid from the expander, and the pain went away. Yeah!

However, it seemed I had developed a “pocket” in my left breast. It simply would not heal up, leaking fluid constantly. On one visit it was so bad that Dr. Love just put a Q-tip on it and it bursts open with blood dripping everywhere. Good thing I was still numb and have to issues with seeing blood. This put me back about 4 weeks til the incisions healed completely. Now, I am once again getting “filled up” weekly. Implant surgery is next and I am pleased to report that there is now increased protrusion.

I left the last post thinking I would need radiation. Mark and I met with the CARTI doctor. It seems that if you had a 15% or greater chance of reoccurrance, radiation was recommended. I was at 14%. I find this strange since all of my breast tissue was removed, but what do I know. I decided against it.

About the time I started the reconstruction, Mark started having back problems again. This is when I felt like we were falling downhill again. He started taking meds for pain. He was working at Falcon Jet during this time, and the job worked him up towards 16 hours a day. While it is always nice to have money, we didn’t get to enjoy it. He was rarely home, and sleeping when he was here. The pain started to worsen and he was referred to a pain clinic. Falcon Jet started to wear on him hard. He could do the job for the most part, but his supervisor began wanting him to do things that were against FAA regs. Mark wouldn’t comply. He would only pass inspections of planes when they were done correctly. He did not want an accidents or crashes to ever be linked back to him. When Mark left for work daily, I could see the defeat in him. It was time to quit. We went on vacation to visit his mom and upon returning, he put in his two week notice.

Also, at the same time, I lost my part time job. I am not bitter about it at all. The job was an incredible gift from God. I can never thank Darcy Pattison enough for giving me the work. I loved it, but knew it was not lucrative for her to keep it going.

Worry starts to hit me. We no longer have double insurance. We no longer have Mark’s paycheck. We no longer have my job. And neither of us are physically able to work. Luckily, Mark does receive retirement from the USAF and VA disability. Our bills are met, but not much left over. After about a week, Mark walked into a job at the North Little Rock Airport. Its part time, no benefits, not great pay (I think Mark is worth so much more) but he likes it.

In 1 Peter, the bible says, “But how is it to your credit if you receive a beating for doing wrong and endure it? But if you suffer for doing good and you endure it, this is commendable before God. 21 To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps.” I think Mark and I are going through a very trying part of our lives and trying to keep the faith of God. I hate this most for Mark, because if you know him, he is a very wise, honorable, and kind man. He deserves a great future, pain free, enjoying life as he did just a few short years ago. He tells me all the time, “God’s got this”. I just love him to death!

That brings us to now. I am starting my new career, new business in a few weeks. Its Errands Arkansas, a concierge and errand service. Its my dream to own my own business. I love working for myself. I am the greatest boss I have ever had. Hahaha!  Mark will continue at his current job and help me when needed. Its hope. Its a silver lining. I am praying that God will have His hands all over it!

More later……


Responses

  1. Our Father God has His Hands all over you both!!! ❤

  2. oh how the chiseling hurts. obviously I can’t fully relate to what you’ve been through Ann, but I do know that God shows Himself at the strangest times–sometimes just to remind us of who He is, and that He’s “got this.” Love ya.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Categories

%d bloggers like this: